If You Want Me To...

Running.... (11/17/2011)

2011-12-23T22:41:00.000-08:00

" I am running, running after You. You've become my souls delight. I'm running after You, Here with You I find my life. Now I'm running after the thing that matters. You've become my joy and song. I find my joy in worshiping You Lord."

I was thinking about this tonight in light of this song I found. Kari Jobe is my absolute favorite 'worship' singer out there. This song called running just really hit home.

I was thinking about how it seems people in these disfunctional situations tend to just run. But, they don't run to the right things. They run right back into a simliar situation, or they run to alcohol or drugs or hmmm facebook? But, oh how important it is for us (me) to run to Jesus. He is the ONLY right place to go. I find when I am in the deepest darkest of trials is when I feel the CLOSEST to Him. Now that doesn't mean I want to always be in a 'trial' so that I will feel close to my God, but I feel it just means that I have finally learned to cling to my Savior in those times instead of trying to do it on my own. Ok, scratch that I haven't learnED...i am learnING. Truly though, He has become my souls delight.

A couple of you just out of encouragement told me to 'follow my heart'. While I know what you mean and that you are just trying to offer up kind words I just want to put this out there. I never ever will be following my heart. I believe that my heart is deceitful and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) and no decision that I make apart from God will be a good one. I do not make ANY decisions on my heart/emotions but solely on the TRUTH of the Word of God. Perhaps that's hard for some of you to understand, but I feel there is no other way to do it. I understand that my emotions are going to play into my decision, but hopefully I am wise enough to not allow them to RULE my decision.

Wedding Day (10/23/2011)

2011-12-23T22:33:00.000-08:00

Wedding Day - Casting Crowns[VERSE 1:]
There's a stirring in the throne room
And all creation holds it's breath
Waiting now to see the bride groom
Wondering how the bride will dress
And she wears white
And she knows that she's undeserving
She bears the shame of history
With this worn and weary maiden
Is not the bride that he sees
And she wears white, head to toe
But only he could make it so

[CHORUS:]
When someone dries your tears
When someone wins your heart
And says your beautiful
When you don't know you are
And all you've longed to see
Is written on his face
When love has come and finally set you free
On that wedding day
On that wedding day

[VERSE 2:]
She has danced in golden castles
And she has crawled through beggar's dust
But today she stands before him
And she wears his righteousness
And she will be who he adores
And this is what he made her for

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE:]
When the hand that bears the only scars
And heaven touch her face
And the last tears she'll ever cry
Are finally wiped away
And the clouds roll back as he takes her hand
And walks her through the gates
Forever we will reign

The Bridge (10/19/2011)

2011-12-23T22:29:00.000-08:00

The Bridge

By Edwin Friedman

There was a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from life. He had experienced many moods and trials. He had experimented with different ways of living, and he had had his share of both success and failure. At last, he began to see clearly where he wanted to go.

Diligently, he searched for the right opportunity. Sometimes he came close, only to be pushed away. Often he applied all his strength and imagination, only to find the path hopelessly blocked. And then at last it came. But the opportunity would not wait. It would be made available only for a short time. If it were seen that he was not committed, the opportunity would not come again.

Eager to arrive, he started on his journey. With each step, he wanted to move faster; with each thought about his goal, his heart beat quicker; with each vision of what lay ahead, he found renewed vigor. Strength that had left him since his early youth returned, and desires, all kinds of desires, reawakened from their long-dormant positions.

Hurrying along, he came upon a bridge that crossed through the middle of a town. It had been built high above a river in order to protect it from the floods of spring. He started across. Then he noticed someone coming from the opposite direction. As they moved closer, it seemed as though the other were coming to greet him. He could see clearly, however, that he did not know this other, who was dressed similarly except for something tied around his waist.

When they were within hailing distance, he could see that what the other had about his waist was a rope. It was wrapped around him many times and probably, if extended, would reach a length of 30 feet.

The other began to uncurl the rope, and, just as they were coming close, the stranger said, “Pardon me, would you be so kind as to hold the end a moment?” Surprised by this politely phrased but curious request, he agreed without a thought, reached out, and took it.

“Thank you,” said the other, who then added, “two hands now, and remember, hold tight.” Whereupon, the other jumped off the bridge.

Quickly, the free-falling body hurtled the distance of the rope’s length, and from the bridge the man abruptly felt the pull. Instinctively, he held tight and was almost dragged over the side. He managed to brace himself against the edge, however, and after having caught his breath, looked down at the other dangling, close to oblivion.

“What are you trying to do?” he yelled. “Just hold tight,” said the other.“This is ridiculous,” the man thought and began trying to haul the other in. He could not get the leverage, however. It was as though the weight of the other person and the length of the rope had been carefully calculated in advance so that together they created a counterweight just beyond his strength to bring the other back to safety.

“Why did you do this?” the man called out. “Remember,” said the other, “if you let go, I will be lost.” “But I cannot pull you up,” the man cried. “I am your responsibility,” said the other. “Well, I did not ask for it,” the man said. “If you let go, I am lost,” repeated the other.

He began to look around for help. But there was no one. How long would he have to wait? Why did this happen to befall him now, just as he was on the verge of true success? He examined the side, searching for a place to tie the rope. Some protrusion, perhaps, or maybe a hole in the boards. But the railing was unusually uniform in shape; there were no spaces between the boards. There was no way to get rid of this newfound burden, even temporarily.

“What do you want?” he asked the other hanging below. “Just your help,” the other answered.

“How can I help? I cannot pull you in, and there is no place to tie the rope so that I can go and find someone to help me help you.”

“I know that. Just hang on; that will be enough. Tie the rope around your waist; it will be easier.” Fearing that his arms could not hold out much longer, he tied the rope around his waist.

“Why did you do this?” he asked again. “Don’t you see what you have done? What possible pur- pose could you have had in mind?”

“Just remember,” said the other, “my life is in your hands.”

What should he do? “If I let go, all my life I will know that I let this other die. If I stay, I risk los- ing my momentum toward my own long-sought-after salvation. Either way this will haunt me forever.” With ironic humor he thought to die himself, instantly, to jump off the bridge while still holding on. “That would teach this fool.” But he wanted to live and to live life fully. “What a choice I have to make; how shall I ever decide?”

As time went by, still no one came. The critical moment of decision was drawing near. To show his commitment to his own goals, he would have to continue on his journey now. It was already almost too late to arrive in time. But what a terrible choice to have to make.

A new thought occurred to him. While he could not pull this other up solely by his own efforts, if the other would shorten the rope from his end by curling it around his waist again and again, together they could do it. Actually, the other could do it by himself, so long as he, standing on the bridge, kept it still and steady.

“Now listen,” he shouted down. “I think I know how to save you.” And he explained his plan.

But the other wasn’t interested.

“You mean you won’t help? But I told you I cannot pull you up myself, and I don’t think I can hang on much longer either.”

“You must try,” the other shouted back in tears. “If you fail, I die.”

The point of decision arrived. What should he do? “My life or this other’s?” And then a new idea. A revelation. So new, in fact, it seemed heretical, so alien was it to his traditional way of think- ing.

“I want you to listen carefully,” he said, “because I mean what I am about to say. I will not accept the position of choice for your life, only for my own; the position of choice for your own life I hereby give back to you.”

“What do you mean?” the other asked, afraid.

“I mean, simply, it’s up to you. You decide which way this ends. I will become the counterweight. You do the pulling and bring yourself up. I will even tug a little from here.” He began unwinding the rope from around his waist and braced himself anew against the side.

“You cannot mean what you say,” the other shrieked. “You would not be so selfish. I am your responsibility. What could be so important that you would let someone die? Do not do this to me.”

He waited a moment. There was no change in the tension of the rope. “I accept your choice,” he said, at last, and freed his hands.

The End.

Beauty From Pain + Courage (10/15/2011)

2011-12-23T22:23:00.000-08:00

Beauty From Pain
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am at the end of me (at the end of me)
Tryin' to hold to what I can't see (to what I can't see)
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Courage
Take all my vicious words
And turn them into something good
Take all my preconceptions
And let the truth be understood
Take all my prized possessions
Leave only what I need
Take all my pieces of doubt
And let me be what's underneath
Courage is when you're afraid,
But you keep on moving anyway
Courage is when you're in pain,
But you keep on living anyway
We all have excuses why
Living in fear something in us dies
Like a bird with broken wings
It's not how high he flies,
But the song he sings
Courage is when you're afraid,
But you keep on moving anyway
Courage is when you're in pain,
But you keep on living anyway
It's not how many times you've been
knocked down
It's how many times you get back up
Courage is when you've lost your way,
But you find your strength anyway
Courage is when you're afraid
Courage is when it all seems grey
Courage is when you make a change,
And you keep on living anyway
You keep on moving anyway
You keep on giving anyway
You keep on loving anyway

Perfect Peace (9/22/11)

2011-09-24T22:18:00.001-07:00

Here I am broken down
Hands lifted up
I've never felt so cold
I need You to warm my soul
Only You can bring me home

Here I am damaged goods
Too tired to cry
There's nothing I need more
Than to repair this heart I've torn
I need You to bring me home

In Your sight I am beautiful
In Your blood I come clean
In Your hands all things are possible
What was fear has been released
It has turned to perfect peace

Lord, undo me (9/15/11)

2011-09-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

I don’t really worship these day

I don’t really stand up to praise you with songs

Or prayers or actions

or with anything

I am full of all the right moves

I am full of all the right words

I am full of all the right religion

But it is all just illusion

I am really

Lonely

Lost

Calloused

Jaded

Cynical

Too religious

Too realistic

and well really just to lazy

to worship you anymore

I have lost my first love

I have lost the joy of your presence

But most of all I have lost the fear of your glory

Papa God I need to see you again

Like Isaiah I want to stand in awe of your glory

To fall down at your feet

To come face to face with your

Perfection,

Radiance,

Goodness,

Holiness,

Awesomeness

I want to stand before you and see you for who you are

and me for who I am

I want to be undone

I want to know me for who I really am

I want to see the depths of my heart

And know that you are the only way

You are the only truth

You are the only life

I want to see me and understand

What it really must have taken for you to

Love me

Care for me

See me

Speak to me

Want me

Communicate with me

Die for me

Lord, I want to stand in that place where all I can see is your glory

And my sin

Because in that place I can’t help but worship you.

Lord let me come undone

Undo my heart

Lord, undo my heart

break down these walls that I love so much

No, wait don’t,

I’m scared I don’t know if I can handle this

don’t

But I can’t live this way anymore

I can’t stand here in this half-life

this going through the motions life

this not really alive life

Father, I need you so come and in and do what you must

Cut out the tumor on my heart

Break down the walls that I love

Lord let me come undone

Undo my heart

let me worship you again

-author unknown

From September 11th, 2001

2011-09-24T22:15:00.000-07:00

(In Memory of 10 years)

I look up from the computer and Erik Kohl says

"An airplane just hit the world trade center"

Me: "what kind of airplane? Where at?"

Erik: " In NYC, one of the main centers. They think it was terrorists"

I shove it off and go on typing my E-mail's, not really thinking it was anything huge.

After typing my E-mail's I head to the auditorium for our daily chapel. They've set aside the whole chapel to pray for the situation. It started to become real.

Mr. Daughters: "Three plans have hit the world trade centers and the pentagon. We need to pray for our country, we need to pray for the victims."

The pray begins, people start to cry. Many people pray

"Come Lord Jesus, please come to take us home."

"God, why does this happen? We ask you why. Thank you God, that you are in control, and you KNOW WHY"

"Pray for our president...He needs your help, dear God."

"Lord, protect our land. Thank you for giving us a free country."

As we prayed tears began to fall. People started to pray for family and friends who might be in that area. People started to wonder. People asked God "why?" Everyone knew God knew why, but nobody knew why.

As we were praying a plan landed in PA that was as people assume, about ready to hit camp david or the capital. God allowed less people to die by it landing in PA. Thank you Jesus. God knows everything.

Oct. 7th, 2001 America hit Afghanastanl We hit them to stop terrorism, not to cause death, we hit them to stop this chaos. But who knows, maybe hitting them, is just starting one big war, that could last for years. Years? How many years? Nobody knows, only God knows, only God knows what's in store...Thank you Jesus for protecting us.

God is sovereign, don't forget that. Don't be scared, just pray, don't ask why, just pray.

Beautiful Things (8/13/11)

2011-09-24T22:14:00.000-07:00

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make me new, You are making me new

Homesick - Mercy Me (7/11/11)

2011-09-24T22:13:00.000-07:00

(In Memory of Hayvon Dagel)

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Beautiful To Me (6/23/11)

2011-09-24T22:09:00.000-07:00

So much I don't understand
That I change if I wrote the story
How pain can heal and death bring life
How defeat can bring such glory
You didn't hold back one breath
You even gave Your last one
So I live

It's beautiful to me
Your holy mystery
I'm standing here in awe
Of how you make everything
So beautiful to me
Someday I will see
How You hold this wounded heart
And make it perfect and complete
And it's beautiful to me
Beautiful

I don't deserve Your suffering
I should be the one who's bleeding
But Your broken body gives
This broken spirit what it's needing
You reach through time with Your sacrifice
With wounded hands
Holding this fragile life

It's beautiful to me
Your holy mystery
I'm standing here in awe
Of how you make everything
So beautiful to me
Someday I will see
How You hold this wounded heart
And make it perfect and complete
And it's beautiful to me
Beautiful to me

This seek, this longing
This heart that I've been searching
This moment while I'm breaking
You're here
Your plan, Your promise
A pain that has a purpose
I let you in to use it

And just why Your hands built heaven's arms
You're making me so beautiful

It's beautiful to me
Every mystery
I'm standing here in awe
Of how You make everything
So beautiful to me
So perfect and complete
You warm this wounded heart
Someday I will see
It's beautiful to me
It's beautiful to me
Beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful to me
Beautiful to me

For the Moments I feel Faint (2/24/11)

2011-09-24T22:08:00.000-07:00

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

[Chorus:]
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear

[Chorus]

I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them in your hands

"For the Moments I feel Faint" - Reliant K

Not Forgotten (2/19/11)

2011-09-24T22:07:00.000-07:00

When you think your dream is dying

He has not forgotten you

When your body aches from tryin'

He has not forgotten you

When you worry for tomorrow

Even though the sky is blue

See the sun is shining

He has not forgotten you

When July feels like December

He has not forgotten you

When it's painful to remember

He has not forgotten you

When it seems you can not win

And there is not much left to lose

He has got a plan

And He has not forgotten you

And hope will spring eternal

In the home of those who know

That loving eyes will follow

Every where we go

And even in the darkness

His promises are true

Keep this in your heart

He has not forgotten you.

He is faithful

He is present

He is listening

He is love

If your tired flesh has squandered

What your spirit would have saved

And your aimless feet have wandered

Far from all you truly crave

Turn and run toward your Father

Do not wait another day

See His arms are open

And He is calling out your name

And hope will spring eternal

In the home of those who know

That loving eyes will follow

Every where we go

And even in the darkness

His promises are true

Keep this in your heart

He has not forgotten you

A Prayer of Contentment (2/7/11)

2011-09-24T22:06:00.000-07:00

Heavenly Father, if I should suffer need, and go unclothed, and be in poverty, make my heart prize Thy love, know it, be constrained by it, though I be denied all blessings. It is Thy mercy to afflict and try me with wants, for by these trials I see my sins, and desire severance from them. Let me willingly accept misery, sorrows, temptations, if I can thereby feel sin as the greatest evil, and be delivered from it with gratitude to Thee, acknowledging this as the highest testimony of Thy love.

When thy Son, Jesus, came into my soul instead of sin He became more dear to me than sin had formerly been; His kindly rule replaced sin's tyranny. Teach me to believe that if ever I would have any sin subdued I must not only labour to overcome it, but must invite Christ to abide in the place of it, and He must become to me more than vile lust had been; that His sweetness, power, life may be there. Thus I must seek a grace from Him contrary to sin, but must not claim it apart from Himself.

When I am afraid of evils to come, comfort me by showing me that in myself I am a dying, condemned wretch, but in Christ I am reconciled and live; that in myself I find insufficiency and no rest, but in Christ there is satisfaction and peace; that in myself I am feeble and unable to do good, but in Christ I have ability to do all things. Though now I have His graces in part, I shall shortly have them perfectly in that state where Thou wilt show Thyself fully reconciled, and alone sufficient, efficient, loving me completely, with sin abolished. O Lord, hasten that day.

Trade these ashes in for beauty (12/3/10)

2011-09-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

Lord, I feel as though I'm at the lowest of low points in my life. I want to trade these ashes, these awful, evil, wicked, unfair, hurtful ashes in for beauty. I have trusted Your unfailing love and obeyed Your Word, but still....still You fail me. I take that back, You did not fail me, it just didn't go my way and so it feels as though I've been betrayed. When I think about Your mercy and grace I think of it healing relationships, not destroying them. I think of it protecting my children from hurts, not allowing them to go through the most painful thing in the world.

I want to lay down these burdens, but I can't. I'm holding on to them, loosely, but I still have hold. I can't seem to let go. It's as if You and I are standing before one another and You're begging me to lay them down and I'm argueing with you like a teenager. Lord, when I read Your Word it seems so clear, but then the results of my decisions blur that clarity and leave me confused and hurt.

Well Lord, here I am. I can't really say take it all, because I know in all honesty I'm still holding. But I can say that I want to obey You and I want to give You all the glory and honor and praise and if that means you take it all away, then dear God so be it.....

The Valley of Vision

2011-01-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly,

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,

where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights;

hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up,

that to be low is to be high,

that the broken heart is the healed heart,

that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,

that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,

that to have nothing is to possess all,

that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,

that to give is to receive,

that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,

and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine;

let me find Thy light in my darkness,

Thy life in my death,

Thy joy in my sorrow,

Thy grace in my sin,

Thy riches in my poverty,

Thy glory in my valley.

Worlds Apart (lyrics)

2010-12-07T15:26:00.000-08:00

I have heard this song as a teenager over and over again, I don't think I really knew what it meant. But wow, it's deep and has really hit my heart and soul.

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

[Additional lyrics:]

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

Grief

2010-02-20T09:44:00.000-08:00

It seems that the Lord is really trying to teach us all something lately. If it isn't someone dealing with a grief of the loss of a loved one it's someone dealing with the grief of what they do not have or someone dealing with the grief of un-acceptance due to being somewhat 'different'.

Grief is so similar and so different all at the same time. It comes in so many different ways from so many different directions. You want people to help/encourage you but yet you don't want them to say something really stupid like "I know how you feel" or "Just lean on the Lord, He will help you." While neither of those statement are stupid alone it seems like when you just want to be in that moment of anger it's the last thing you want to hear because really you're not stupid, you KNOW these things. You grew up in a Christian home, you went to Bible college, you spend many summers at camps, you've been on the mission field. Shouldn't that of taught you everything you need to know?

but no my dear friends. Those things might teach us WHAT to do if bad things happen but really it is those trials that refine us and test us and when we truly learn how to cling to our Savior. We truly understand a peace that serpasses ALL understanding. We know what it's like to be angry and sad at the same time and feel as if Jesus is so far yet sooo close. We maybe have a better understanding of what "sovereignty" and all that really is... or perhaps we just know that we don't HAVE to get it, we just need to know that in fact He IS. I think sometimes as 'smart' christians we become so wrapped up in all the doctrine and stuff we almost forget how to just live for Him. It amazes me the things that the Lord has brought me and all my friends through to completely change who we are. So many of us have been through the fire, but through it all God has been so so faithful. Never forget that. When we are in the PIT that is when He is the most near. There is so many verses I have clung to over the past two years, but the ones that stick out the most to me are...

2Cor. 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Praise you Jesus that you are STRONG for us when we feel so so very weak and hurt.

Through the Eyes of me

2010-02-20T09:42:00.000-08:00

I think sometimes people think that just because you are a certain way means that you will act a certain way and do certain things. So often you are stereo-typed because of what you are instead of by who you are.

Please don't look at me and assume I stink because I can't see if there is stains on my clothes or if my hair is sticking up or my teeth have something green between them. Don't assume that I'm like this...just because in the mirror my eyes cannot see these things.

Don't think you can complain to me about all YOUR disabilities as I sit there as plan as day overcoming one moment after moment day after day. It's not a disability it is an HONOR from the Lord. Just because my eyes can't see you roll your eyes doesn't mean my heart cannot feel it.

Don't assume that I can not take care of myself and that I will not amount to anything just because my eyes can not drive me from one place to another.

And don't assume that I wouldn't do the best darn job ever at whatever you might hire me to do just because I can not see. My life and my love for the Lord is much much deeper because from an early age I had to LEARN to rely on Him. I see through people....maybe not physically, but spiritually.

God has made me who I am today and He made no mistake. I will not let anything you say or do to me affect who I am in Christ. I am made in the image and likeness of Him. He is my everything. His power is made PERFECT in my weaknesses.

Testimony

2009-09-10T18:33:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in awhile, but am still being greatly touched by music and the Word of God. This song by Sara Groves was an encouragement to me last week and I hope that it will encourage our friends Jason and Angie as they have received some tough news this week. Many Prayers are going up for you guys!

So proud and excited that I by myself
Have reached such a lofty place
I took the last step toward my ultimate goal
But clumsily fell on my face
I opened my eyes only to find
I was back at the place I'd begun
Helpless and broken, I strained and cried out
Surely the enemy has won

I felt his peace that passes understanding
Grace that is never ending
Love that overflows my soul
I felt his peace that passes understanding
Grace that is never ending
Love overflows my soul

As I wallowed in self pity, He came to sit with me there
His presence alone was so rich and so deep
It chased away all my despair
I said, 'Lord please forgive me for my prideful heart,
It sneaks in before I know.'
He said, 'What prideful heart?' He forgave and forgot
He said, 'How I want you to knowâ€¦

My peace that passes understanding
Grace that is never ending
Love that overflows my soul.'
His peace that passes understanding
Grace that is never ending
Love that overflows my soul

Now how daily I humble myself at His feet
I make His desire my will
For He's taken my higher than I have ever been
And He's taking me higher still

With his peace that passes understanding
Grace that is never ending
Love that overflows my soul
Oh peace, grace, love that overflows my soul
My soul

What do I know of Holy

2009-09-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

Your Grace

2009-09-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

I was lost when ya found me here
You pulled me close and held me near
And I'm a fool but still you love
I'll be your fool for the king of love

He gave me wings so I could fly
And gave me a song to color the sky
And all I have is all from you
And all I want is all of you

It's grace, grace
I'm nothing without you
Grace, your grace
Shines on me

And there've been days when I've walked away
Too much to carry
Nothing left to say
Forgive me Lord when I'm weak and lost
You traded heaven for a wooden cross

And all these years you've carried me
You've been my eyes when I could not see
And beauty grows in the driving rain
Your oil of gladness in the times of pain

It's grace, your grace
I'm nothing without you
Grace, your grace
Shines on me
Your grace, your grace
I'm nothing without you

Deliver Me

2009-07-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

Deliver me out of the sadness
Deliver me from all the madness
Deliver me courage to guide me
Deliver me Your strength inside me

CHORUS:
All of my life
I've been in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like You
Now that You're here
Now that I've found You
I know that You're the One to pull me through

Deliver me loving and caring
Deliver me giving and sharing
Deliver me this cross that I'm bearing

Oh, deliver me

Jesus, Jesus how I trust You
How I've proved You o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus
Deliver me
Come and pull me through
Come pull me through

Waiting for the Son

2009-07-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

Freedom's flight On this night takes my words to You beyond my sight.

While I pray in this place, Holding to the promise that you made

Underneath the stars and sky I wait for you to come

Like the morning waiting for the Son.

Son of man. Nail torn hands Life devine that walked along this land.

Virgin birth inside a sin-filled earth brought your life to save a universe.

Underneath the stars and sky I wait for you to come

Like the morning waiting for the Son.

It's sometimes hard but I believe.

You are the air my soul breathes.

I sometimes fall but you are there,

in you I lose all my cares

Underneath the stars and sky I wait for you to come

Like the morning waiting for the Son.

While I'm Waiting

2009-05-18T22:05:00.001-07:00

PSALMS 27:14 WAIT FOR THE LORD; BE STRONG AND TAKE HEART AND WAIT FOR THE LORD.

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting

Empty Me

2009-04-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

Empty Me
by Chris Sligh

I've had just enough of the spotlight when it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood.
And I've tasted my share of the sweet life and the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enough.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

I've seen just enough of the quick buys of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you, compared to you.
Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you, so I surrender all.

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.
Oh, filled with you.
Empty me.

A few verses from Colossians 3:

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.

But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

A Living Prayer

2009-04-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

(Note: This is sung by a secular artist, but touched me today as it is how I feel at times).

In this world I walk alone
With no place to call my home
But there's one who holds my hand
The rugged road through barren lands
The way is dark, the road is steep
But He's become my eyes to see
The strength to climb, my griefs to bear
The Savior lives inside me there

In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

In these trials of life I find
Another voice inside my mind
He comforts me and bids me live
Inside the love the Father gives

In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

God is our stability

2009-04-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

In his book, The Attributes of God, author A. W. Pink says it well: “Human nature cannot be relied upon, but God can! However unstable I may be, however fickle my friends may prove, God changes not. If He varied as we do, if He willed one thing today and another tomorrow, if He were controlled by caprice, who could confide [or have confidence] in Him? But all praise to His glorious name, He is ever the same. His purpose is fixed, His will is stable, His word is sure. He then is a rock on which we may fix our feet, while the mighty torrent is sweeping away everything around us.”

Knowing You

2009-04-07T09:34:00.001-07:00

Somehow this song means so much more now, than it did in high school. Possibly something about the closeness that comes from enduring trials ?? :)

Philippians 3:8-10
Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:

That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;

All I once held dear, built my life upon,
All this world reveres and wars to own;
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
Spent and worthless now compared to this.

CHORUS:
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best,
You're my joy, my righteousness,
And I love You Lord.

Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
To be found in You and know as Yours,
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness

Oh to know the power of Your risen life,
And to know You in Your sufferings;
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
So with You to live and never die.

Unredeemed

2009-04-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

The cruelest words
The coldest heart
The deepest wounds
The endless dark
The lonely ache
The burning tears
The bitter night
The wasted years
Life breaks and falls apart
But we know these are…

Places
Where grace is
Soon to be so amazing
They may be unfulfilled
They may be unrestored
But when anything that’s shattered
Is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be
Unredeemed

For every choice
That led to shame
And all the love
That never came
For every vow
That someone broke
And every life
That gave up hope
We live in the shadow of the fall
But the cross says these are all

Places
Where grace is
Soon to be so amazing
They may be unfulfilled
They may be unrestored
But when anything that’s shattered
Is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be
Unredeemed

oh you will wipe every tear
Where Grace is, Where Grace is
So amazing

They may be unfulfilled
They may be unrestored
You never know the miracles
The father has in store
Just watch and see
It will not be
Unredeemed

Glory Come Down

2009-03-26T10:57:00.001-07:00

It didnt take me too long to find
The chains you just had freed me from
I got so used to having them on
I didnt know how to live in freedom

This cant be, no it cant be
What you have intended for me
And this cant be, no it cant be
What you have intended for me

Glory, come down
Sent from your holy place
Come cleanse me now
Sovereign and holy, come make me holy now

What is it in the nature of man
That draws us away from our purpose
To despise the things of God
And love the things that hurt us

And this cant be, no it cant be
What you have intended for us
This cant be, no it cannot be
What you have intended for us

Glory, come down
Sent from your holy place
Come cleanse us now
Sovereign and holy, come make us holy
Sovereign and holy, come make us holy
Sovereign and holy, come make us holy now

Straight from your holy place,
Lord, make us holy as you are holy
Send it down Lord, just a little bit of heaven here on earth
Send down your glory
Lord we need you, Lord we need you, Lord we need you
Lord I love you, Lord I love you, Lord I love you
Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus

Perfect Peace

2009-03-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7)

Stay close by my side
Keep your eyes on me
Though this life is hard
I will give you perfect peace

In this time of trial
Pain that no one sees
Trust me when I say
I will give you perfect peace

And you'll never walk alone
And you'll never be in need
Though I may not calm the storms around you
You can hide in me

Burdens that you bear
Offer no relief
Let me bear your load
'Cause I will give you perfect peace

Stay close by my side
And you'll never walk alone
Keep your eyes on me
And you'll never be in need
Though this life is hard
Know that I will always give you perfect peace
I will give you perfect peace

Words by Laura Story

I am so grateful to my heavenly Father who gives me such great peace even when things all around me are not peaceful. He brings us to such a place of peace which causes us to fall on our faces before him just as Moses and Aaron did in the OT. I am in such awe of my Savior.

Grace

2009-03-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things You do through me as great things I have done. And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.

Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."

At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged, knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job. For who am I to serve You?I know I don't deserve You. And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.

Chorus*
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."
You are so patient with me, Lord.

As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your grace really means. The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary. So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You
by giving up my life to you For all that You've given to me.

Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."

Words by Laura Story

This Journey is My Own

2009-03-14T16:41:00.001-07:00

When I stand before the Lord, I'll be standing alone
This journey is my own
Still I want man's advice, and I need man's approval
This journey is my own

Why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
What does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life

So much of what I do is to make a good impression
This journey is my own
And so much of what I say is to make myself look better
But this journey is my own

And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life

And I have never felt relief like I feel it right now
This journey is my own
'cause trying to please the world, it was breaking me down
It was breaking me down

And now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
'cause I know this journey is my own

And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life
And you can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain
I can't even judge myself, only the Lord can say, 'Well done.'

Cardboard Testimonies

2009-03-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

Click HERE to view a very inspiring video. It brought tears to my eyes.

Praise His Name

2009-02-28T15:59:00.001-08:00

When you're up against a wall
And your mountain seems so tall
And you realize that life's not always fair
You can run away and hide
Let the old man decide
Or you can change your curcumstances with a prayer

When everything falls apart
Praise his name
When you have a broken heart
Raise your hands and say
Lord, you're all I need
You're everything to me
And he'll take the pain away
When you feel you're all alone
Praise his name
And you feel all hope is gone
Raise your hands and say
Greater is he that is within me
And you can praise the hurt away
If you'll just praise his name

Ohhh,
You can overcome
By the blood of the lamb
And by the word of your testimony
You'll see the darkness go
As your faith begins to grow
You're not alone, so how can you be lonely

Tremble - Nichole Nordeman

2009-02-23T08:45:00.000-08:00

Have I come too casually?
Because it seems to me
There's something I've neglected
How does one approach a Deity
with informality
And still protect the Sacred?

'Cause you came and chose to wear the skin of all of us
And it's easy to forget You left a throne

And the line gets blurry all the time
Between daily and Divine
And it's hard to know the difference

Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not,
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

What a shame to think that I'd appear
Even slightly cavalier
In the matter of salvation
Do I claim this gift You freely gave
As if it were mine to take
With such little hesitation?

'Cause you came and stood among the very least of us
And it's easy to forget you left a throne

Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

The cradle of the grave could not contain Your Divinity
Neither can I oversimplify this love

Oh, let me not forget to tremble

Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

Raising Up Arrows

2009-02-23T08:31:00.000-08:00

March 28, 2008

"Being Quiver Full is not having the largest quiver, but trusting God with the right size quiver and each arrow that belongs in it."

I think that is a great quote. While I don't necessarily agree with what she MEANS by this quote it is so true that we must trust the Lord with the "Arrows" (or children) He gives us. We had our couples bible study last night and it was on parenting. There was some great statements in there.

The Arrow is a metaphor for protection - the way you take care of your kids when they're small reflects on the responsibility they will have to take care of you when you get older. (Ps. 127:3-5)
First you prepare the arrow, than you aim the arrow, than you release it towards the target.
Children are a gift, a reward and a blessing.
Children are a gift from God. They are a sacred stewardship temporarily entrusted to parents for the purpose of raising Godly offspring to fulfill God's agenda for this world.
God isn't nearly as concerned about what our children do as He is about who they are.
Ultimately, the American dream is about happiness and God's dream is about holiness. If you focus on your children becoming happy, they will rarely become holy. But if you focus on their being holy they will always become happy.

If you are not the person you want your children to become, the greatest gift and the greatest stewardship you could perform right now is to look into the mirror and say, "if there is anything in my life that I wouldn't want my kids to imitate, Oh God, lets go to work on that together right now."

They will imitate you, not just your actions, but your attitude, your faith, your heart and your motive.
Modeling doesn't mean that you got it all together. Modeling is being authentic and real and growing, and it's done in the relationship of love.

8 Ways to build relationships that bond (1Thes. 2:7-12)

Give your children unconditional love.
Schedule time. Get time alone with your kids.
Give focused attention.
Give eye contact.
Give meaningful touching.
Have ongoing communication.
Have fun together.
Pray with them.

Dear Me,

2009-02-23T08:26:00.001-08:00

January 24, 2008

Disclaimer: Just something I saw someone else do on a blog. A letter to the past you. :)

Dear Me,
There's just a few things I want to tell you that I wish you would of known ten years ago.

Get your butt off the computer and enroll in Boone high school. Join choir, do a few musicals, pursue your talents.

Get a job. Like a real job. Ya know, like a waitress or a saleslady or something. Doing a paper route was good, but it didn't get you out into the "real world".

You should of never ever stayed up on the phone between 3-6am every saturday night. It really made your focus on church awful. I know it was still possible, but the extra sleep would of made it much more meaningful. Not to mention you were talking to a stupid boy =)

Pursue your dreams a little more. Quit being so lazy. Just because you didn't have any friends anymore doesn't mean you had to sit at home all day long.

Enjoy being young. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. It is great having children and a husband, but it could of waited. Go to college, enjoy it, live in the dorms for more than just a year. Appreciate girlfriend time a little more.

but overall, you rock! Way to stay strong!!! and you were really hot too!!!! ;)
Love,
Me

When I say "I am a Christian

2009-02-23T08:20:00.001-08:00

November 26, 2007

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not shouting "I've been saved!" I'm whispering, "I get lost! That's why I chose this way"

When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't speak with human pride, I'm confessing that I stumble - needing God to be my guide

When I say, "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not bragging of success I'm admitting that I've failed and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't think I know it all I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not claiming to be perfect My flaws are far too visible but God believes I'm worth it

When I say, "I am a Christian," I still feel the sting of pain I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name

When I say, "I am a Christian," I do not wish to judge I have no authority -- I only know I'm loved

In Christ Alone

2009-02-23T08:18:00.001-08:00

October 10, 2007

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

East to West

2009-02-23T08:12:00.001-08:00

August 23, 2007

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

I'm Not Who I Was

2009-02-23T07:59:00.000-08:00

May 30, 2007

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

Facing My Giant

2009-02-23T07:58:00.000-08:00

January 6, 2007

In the past 3 months I felt like I've face the biggest "giant" that I've ever faced in my entire life. There has been so many times where I felt so weak that I couldn't even go on. So many times I felt as though I was just "surviving" or perhaps that Jesus was carrying me through as I couldn't do it on my own. Through all the things I've faced in my life, this has been the greatest and most difficult of them all.
Tonight my husband and I watched the movie "Facing the Giants" with tears streaming down our face for almost most the movie. We could relate so much to the husband and wife as they sat there and said "what are you doing God?" We could relate to the pain, and confusion and fear. As the movie continued the couch made out a plain which was most definately what God's plan IS for our lives. We'll praise Him if we win and we'll praise Him if we lose. We live our life ALL FOR THE GLORY OF GOD! Many times in the last month I've felt like the team captain and Christ has been my couch.

"KEEP GOING KEEP GOING! DON'T STOP"
"I can't. It hurts. I can't move"
"KEEP GOING! ONE MORE STEP!! KEEP GOING!! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!"
"It's too painful. I can't do it."
"KEEP GOING! KEEP GOING!! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!"

My Savior reminds me in the new testament that He will NEVER EVER leave me or forsake me. And that with God ALLL things are possible.

So what is impossible with God? I'm hear to testify my dear friends that NOTHING is impossible with GOD our Savior and LORD JESUS CHRIST.

November 11, 2006

2009-02-23T07:32:00.000-08:00

So here I am as if crushed;
pressed on all sides by
such massive grief
which rolls mightily o'er my soul,
& forces thousands of tears
to lunge out from my eyes.
I don't think I have ever felt before
the measure of pain I do
in these days.
I am devastated.
& my mourning seems to multiply day by day.
Where is gladness today?
Where is joy?
Have they indeed forsaken me?
My hope falters greatly.
My faith is beaten down
& kicked over with dirt.
I am in ashes & bitter is my weeping.
Where shall I go & what can I do,

what else but wait for You?
For You have the words of life
& in Your hand there is healing.
O, speak the word
& lay Your hand on me.
Please bring times of refreshing & restore to me great joyous smiles.

Bring The Rain

2009-02-14T08:32:00.001-08:00

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

[1st Chorus]

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing

Inspiring Quotes

2009-02-07T19:03:00.002-08:00

"If there is no strain there will be no strength. "

"It's hard to stumble when I'm already on my knees."

"You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class ... Read More hatreds.
You cannot establish security on borrowed money.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away a man's initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves."

William J. H. Boetcker, 1916 (often attributed to Lincoln)

"You never see the bad days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next."
Just Married

"One should exercise mercy, for we are all made of the dough of which prostitutes and fornicators are made. If we stand, we stand by grace alone; otherwise our piety stands on a wisp of straw and soon collapses." -Luther

"I suppose some would say that I am sheltering my kids and that I can't shelter them forever...but to that I say...Yes I am, and I can try! I don't intend to shelter them forever, but I also I don't see any harm in sheltering them a little bit...just because other kids their age know way more than they should and see more than they can understand it doesn't mean that I have to follow the world's example and do the same. I will not shelter them in every way forever...but for now they are young and I want to do my best to protect their hearts and their minds until they are mature enough to do that for themselves." Jessica D.

"If we have hope we are a prisoner of no one." Tale of Despereaux

"Some say grief is the strongest emotion, but I'm here to tell you it is FORGIVENESS." Tale of Despereaux

I Will Rise

2009-02-07T19:03:00.001-08:00

February 4th, 2009

Chris Tomlin - I Will Rise:

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when
He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when
He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of
many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of
every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when
He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees And rise
I will rise

Sara Groves Songs

2009-02-07T19:01:00.000-08:00

January 19th, 2009

It Might be Hope

You do your work the best that you can
you put one foot in front of the other
life comes in waves and makes it's demands
you hold on as well as your able

You've been here for a long long time

Hope has a way of turning it's face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless
you say to yourself
it's been a while since I felt this
but it feels like it might be hope

It's hard to recall what blew out the flame
it's been dark since you can remember
you talk it all through to find it a name
as days go on by without number

You've been here for a long long time

Hope has a way of turning it's face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless
you say to yourself
it's been a while since I felt this
but it feels like it might be hope

Joy in the Long Defeat

i have joined the long defeat
that falling set in motion
and all my strength and energy
are raindrops in the ocean

so conditioned for the win
to share in victor's stories
but in the place of ambition's din
i have heard of other glories

and i pray for an idea
and a way i cannot see
it's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave

i can't just fight when i think i'll win
that's the end of all belief
and nothing has provoked it more
than a possible defeat

chorus

we walk a while we sit and rest
we lay it on the altar
i won't pretend to know what's next
but what i have i've offered

and i pray for a vision
and a way i cannot see
it's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave

and i pray for inspiration
and a way i cannot see
it's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave
it's too heavy to carry
and i will never leave

Be Patient My Love

2009-02-07T18:59:00.000-08:00

January 18th, 2009

This use to be a neat reminder for me daily to be fully satisfied in HIM alone when I was single. My good friend Beth read this at her wedding, and it reminded me of it. It is definately something I can cling to and be patient knowing that someday my "love" will be fully restored with my husband once we are fully restored to CHRIST. Amen.

Be Patient My Love

Everyone longs to give themselves to someone - to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly, and exclusively, but God, to a Christian says, "No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with being in love with Me alone - with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,

having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have prepared for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of anything or anyone else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning - stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing - one you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just wait. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things - keep experiencing that satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That's all.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things other have gotten or that I have given them. Don't look at the things you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than anything you would dream of. You see, until you are ready, ( I am working even at this very moment to have both of you ready at the same time) until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I

have planned for you, you wont be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is perfect love. And dear one, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and the love that I offer you with myself. Know that I love you utterly - I am God. Believe and be satisfied."

How Firm A Foundation

2009-02-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

December 28th, 2008

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said—
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

“Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.

“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

“The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”

Wait

2009-02-07T18:51:00.000-08:00

December 16th, 2008

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be."

"You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me"

"When darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

My Heart of Worship

2009-02-07T18:49:00.001-08:00

October 26th, 2008

Abba (Daddy) I need you to hold me in your arms and take this pain away. Your love for me is so amazing and so much more than I can fathem. When I sleep at night the nightmares come, but Daddy, the God of the universe I know you are there when I awake. You comfort me. Through the Holy Spirit my thoughts can be made captive. You quinch my thirst when I am thirsty.

Lover: The lover of my soul, I turn my eyes to you and look fully on your face. When I fix my eyes on you, the author and perfector of my faith, you bring my a joy that you had even when you endured the cross. I long to be one with you in the deepest way humanly possible. You're beautiful beyond description. Far too marvelous for words.

Savior, your grace is sufficient for me. I am like the prodigal son who sins and comes running back to you. I hate this broken, sinful heart of mine so much I could vomit. You, my Savior, wash me clean and make me white as snow. Thank you for taking my sins and nailing it to the cross.

My vision, oh Lord of my heart. Not anyone else but you. Be my wisdom and help me to teach that wisdom to my children.

Thank you for your death on the cross. Thank you for bearing all that pain so that our Father in heaven will be glorified. To God be all the glory forever and ever.

My redeemer, you give me a grace that I can not describe. You've shown me a mercy that is so amazing. I long for the day when I see you face to face.

How Can You Help Me

2009-02-07T18:44:00.001-08:00

July 20th, 2008

This is about grieving the DEATH of a husband, but the grief I am experiancing is VERY similiar and this describes exactly how I am feeling many many times. I did a little editing...

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME

Please talk about my loved one, even though he is not here. It is more comforting to cry than to pretend that he does not exist. I need to talk about him, and I need to do it over and over.

Be patient with my agitation. Nothing feels secure in my world. Get comfortable with my crying. Sadness hits me in waves, and I never know when my tears may flow. Just sit with me in silence and hold my hand.

Don't abandon me with the excuse that you don't want to upset me. You can't catch my grief. My world is painful, and when you are too afraid to call me or visit or say anything, you isolate me at a time when I most need to be cared about. If you don't know what to say, just come over, give me a hug or touch my arm, and gently say, "I'm sorry." You can even say, "I just don't know what to say, but I care, and want you to know that."

Just because I look good does not mean that I feel good. Ask me how I feel only if you really have time to find out.

I am not strong. I'm just numb. When you tell me I am strong, I feel that you don't see me.

I will not recover. This is not a cold or the flu. I'm not sick. I'm grieving and that's different. My grieving may only begin 6 months after he left. Don't think that I will be over it in a year. For I am not only grieving his sin, but also the person I was when I was with him, the life that we shared, the plans we had for watching our children and grandchildren grow, the places we will never get to go together, and the hopes and dreams that will never come true. My whole world has crumbled and I will never be the same.

I will not always be grieving as intensely, but I will never forget my loved one and rather than recover, I want to incorporate his life and love into the rest of my life. He is a part of me and always will be, and sometimes I will remember him with joy and other times with a tear. Both are okay.

When you tell me what I should be doing, then I feel even more lost and alone. I feel badly enough that my marriage is failing, so please don't make it worse by telling me I'm not doing this right.

Please don't tell me I can find someone else or that I need to start dating again or even that I should get a divorce. I'm not ready. And maybe I don't want to. And besides, what makes you think people are replaceable? They aren't. Whoever comes after will always be someone different.

I don't even understand what you mean when you say, "You've got to get on with your life." My life is going on, I've been forced to take on many new responsibilities and roles. It may not look the way you think it should. This will take time and I will never be my old self again. So please, just love me as I am today, and know that with your love and support, the joy will slowly return to my life. But I will never forget and there will always be times that I cry.

I need to know that you care about me. I need to feel your touch, your hugs. I need you just to be with me, and I need to be with you. I need to know you believe in me and in my ability to get through my grief in my own way, and in my own time.

Please don't say, "Call me if you need anything." I'll never call you because I have no idea what I need. Trying to figure out what you could do for me takes more energy than I have. So, in advance, let me give you some ideas:

(a) Bring food or a movie over to watch together.

(b) Send me a card

(c) Ask me more than once to join you at a movie or lunch or dinner. I may say no at first or even for a while, but please don't give up on me because somewhere down the line, I may be ready, and if you've given up then I really will be alone.

(d) Understand how difficult it is for me to be surrounded by couples, to walk into events alone, to go home alone, to feel out of place in the same situations where I used to feel so comfortable.

Please don't judge me now - or think that I'm behaving strangely. Remember I'm grieving. I may even be in shock. I am afraid. I may feel deep rage. I may even feel guilty. But above all, I hurt. I'm experiencing a pain unlike any I've ever felt before and one that can't be imagined by anyone who has not walked in my shoes.

Don't worry if you think I'm getting better and then suddenly I seem to slip backward. Grief makes me behave this way at times. And please don't tell me you know how I feel, or that it's time for me to get on with my life. What I need now is time to grieve.

Most of all thank you for being my friend. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for caring. Thank you for helping, for understanding. Thank you for praying for me.

And remember in the days or years ahead, after your loss - when you need me as I have needed you - I will understand. And then I will come and be with you.

Do They See Jesus In Me?

2009-02-07T18:42:00.001-08:00

July 10th, 2008

Is the face that I see in the mirror
the one I want others to see
Do I show in the way that I walk in my life
The love that You've given to me
My heart's desire is to be like You
In all that I do, all I am

Do they see Jesus In Me
Do they recognize Your face
Do I communicate Your love, and Your grace
Do I reflect who You are
In the way I choose to be
Do they see Jesus In Me

It's amazing that you'd ever use me
But use me the way You will
Help me to hold out a heart of
compassionate grace
A heart that You're spirit fills
May I show forgiveness and mercy
The same way You've shown it to me

Now I want to show all the world who You are
The reason I live and breathe
So You'll be the One that they see
When they see me

Porcelain Heart

2009-02-07T18:39:00.001-08:00

Broken heart
One more time
Pick yourself up
Why even cry
Broken pieces in your hands
Wonder how you'll make it whole

CHORUS:
You know You pray
This can't be the way
You cry You say
Some thing's gotta change
And mend this porcelain heart of mine
Of mine....

Someone said "A broken heart
Would sting at first then make you stronger"
You wonder why this pain remains
Were hearts made whole just to break

CHORUS:

Creator only you take brokenness
And create it into beauty once again

Chorus:
You know You pray
This can't be the way
You cry You say
Some thing's gotta change

You know You pray
This can't be the way
You cry You say
Some thing's gotta change
And mend this porcelain heart
Please mend this porcelain heart
Of mine of mine Creator mend this heart

Special Verses

2009-02-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

2Cor. 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Hebrews 13:4-5
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"

Galatians 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Philippians 2:6-8
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things."

Psalms 27:14
"Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!"

Cry Out To Jesus

2009-02-07T18:32:00.000-08:00

May 7th, 2008

Cry Out to Jesus

To everyone who's lost someone they love long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They've lost all of their faith in love
And they've done all they can to make it right again
Still, it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up, but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame and your suffering

When you're lonely, and it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus, cry out to Jesus

To the widow who suffers from being alone, wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, cry out to Jesus

Heal The Wound

2009-02-07T18:30:00.001-08:00

April 17th, 2008

I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

He Giveth More Grace

2009-02-07T18:26:00.000-08:00

April 9th, 2008

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater;
He sendeth more strenth when the labors increase.
To added affliction He addeth His mercy;
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
His power has no bundary know unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

*Praise be to GOD!! To HIM be the Glory!!! I thank you my Savior, for this storm you are putting me through. May you and I grow closer, may we have a renewed relationship, may we be one as you and your Father are one. I pray that each moment of every hour I can find peace and comfort in You, my Rest.*

Be Still My Soul

2009-02-07T18:21:00.000-08:00

April 1st, 2008

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.
Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.

Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

Blog Title

2009-02-07T11:56:00.000-08:00

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

ya oh oh no

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I go through the valley If You want me to